Tales of a non-traditional student

I think I’ve lost my mind. Not that that’s a big revelation to anyone, but seriously. In my happy little world, I’m competent enough. However, now that I’m endeavoring to take another university class online, I’m freaking out at my apparent lack of skills: computer skills, reading and remembering skills, test taking skills, focusing skills, forming a coherent, intelligent response to a question posed by the professor skills. . . The list is growing. Project Man (aka, WSU professor) chuckles and is sure that I can pull this off. We had a conversation kind of like this about it.

FG: “What would you think if I got a C out of this class?”
PM: “You won’t get a C. Maybe a B, though.”
FG: “But what if I get a C cuz I choose to slack off on some of the hoop-jumping exercises? I do have other responsibilities, ya know.”
PM: “You won’t slack off. “
FG: “Why do you say that?”
PM: “Because you’ll freak out and end up doing all the reading and assignments anyway.”

Later—

FG: (Whining) “Did you know that I have to go to the TESTING CENTER to take my quizzes? What is up with that? I don’t even know where the Testing Center is. Do they have one in Roy? When are they open? Can I go on Saturday? UGH! Do I have to have my Wildcat card?” (I don’t have it yet.)
PM: “Who is this scaredy-cat pants talking to me? Where is my adventurous, fearless wife that loves college?”
FG: “She is freaking out about having to pretend she knows what in the world she is doing!”
PM: “Now, Karla, (reference to when my mom went back to school and I helped her in her helplessness) you’ll be fine. It’s simple. I’ll call the West Campus and find out if they’re open on Saturday. If not, you can take my parking pass and come to the Testing Center in my building on Saturday.”
FG: “Thank you very much, but I don’t want to go by myself! (More whining.)”
PM: “Honey, you’ll be fine. Gotta go. More students to torture. “

Well, maybe the torturing students part isn’t true, but hey, I’m feeling tortured! When I compare my comments with the majority of students in my class, I’m fine. But there is always one over-achiever that screws things up for everyone. You know the student that not only makes a LONG comment (read essay) that works and then replies to 5 or 6 other students in the class so her name shows up every other minute. Well, just for the record, I’m not that gal. Never have been, never will. I’ve got bigger fish to fry—like trying to get dinner ready, eaten, cleaned-up, homework done (mine and kiddos) and out of the house by 6:00p.m. for Jacob’s basketball game. I’ve got less than an hour. Wish me luck.