Mothering Guilt and Thoughts of Summer

This has been the last week of the school year for my children. As is expected, the last few weeks have been filled with class parties, field trips and assemblies. The joy the children find in these activities fills the whole house with excitement and energy. Here's the rub: How is it that the other moms seem to be at the school 24/7 to help with everything under the sun? My days are turned upside down if I spend much time at the school or anywhere else. I acknowledge my utter wimpiness and lack of desire to be responsible for large endeavors. Are all those other moms living in chaos or are they the fabled "supermoms" I've heard so much about? Help!

Last week my guilt was accute as I drove something over to the school for one of the parties and drove back down the road. I watched a number of dedicated moms sweating it out in the playfield setting up for the upcoming party and felt BAD! I justified my actions by telling myself that I was off to get things ready for Jesse's b-day celebration that day. Does it take everyone else hours to bake and decorate a simple cake, wrap presents, make dinner ahead, do a few odd jobs, etc. before the kids walk in the door from school? Maybe I'm stuck in slow motion.

Gratefully, Todd was listening to some cds of General Conference while we were outside picking up rocks after I had left the school. Once again, Sister Julie Beck's talk "Mothers who Know" was playing. One of her comments was about being selective in how I choose to spend my time. It was comforting, but am I being too selective? Maybe even selfish? These are questions that I spend too much time thinking about.

Perhaps the following line of thinking motivated me to get my summer plan in motion. Tuesday, I ordered summer workbooks for the kids, planned out some summer field trips and got some ideas together for teaching the older children some kitchen skills. I have to thank my mom for passing down the "summer project" idea. My parents tried to keep us busy and out of trouble during the summer months. Granted, we did have a lot of free time, but we generally had a work chart, a money-making project/job, and the girls had a sewing project or 4-H. I did my share of moaning and complaining, but I'm grateful for the lessons. As thanks, I'm passing the tradition on to my kids. We've been doing the summer reading and schoolwork time for at least 5 years, so they've given up whining about it. They all seem to be looking forward to getting some kitchen freedom and maybe some piano (mom taught) time. I'll post progress later on. If we make it through June and July on the program, I'll be thrilled.

Back to memories of childhood summers:

When I was 12, I remember spending way too much time in front of the TV. I distinctly remember my mother coming downstairs, turning off the TV, and ordering me outside to pull some weeds in the garden. After that fateful day, I was "required" to spend at least 1 hour outside doing something useful.

Lots of summer days were spent reading. The Lewiston City library and the Bookmobile were well used by summer's end. At one point, (probably around 16) I could go up and down the aisles and really had to search for something I hadn't already read--except for those scary-looking romance paperbacks. Yikes!

Living in Lewiston (the land of milk and honey, as one friend kindly reminded me recently) had it's draw backs. Seeing as we lived on a dairy farm (not even "uptown") miles away from most of my friends, opportunities for social activities around 14 years old were few. My friend, Wendy, and I would spend a lot of time on our bikes. We both lived a mile from the church in opposite directions. We would go to softball practice in the morning and then ride the "loop". That was about 10 miles. We could chatter away about very significant things (boys, friends, boys) for hours. There were often a couple nights a week spent this way, too. Thanks, Wendy!

When I was 15 or 16 (can't remember if I could drive, but I'm leaning toward not), I was spending MANY evenings out with my friends (they could drive) and coming home late. My dad decided I was too young to be carvorting around Logan every night. He came down with the edict (think Yul Brenner in the Ten Commandments, "So let it be written, let it be done!") that I could only go out with friends two nights a week. If I wanted to go anywhere any other night I had to go with one of my sisters! It was met with a huge fit of resistance and bellering. I was certain that my social life had come to a complete end. Go with my sisters? A fate worse than death! (Remember, I'm 15 here.) As it turned out, I survived, stayed out of trouble (for the most part) and had fun with my sisters. Thanks, Pharoah-- I mean, Dad!

After that, most summers were filled with work. I worked to fund my fun and clothes. As college loomed ever closer, my savings account looked pretty scant and more work was needed to remedy that situation. The summer before my freshman year of college, I started the day at 7:00 am at USU cleaning then would head over to Top 10 Video until 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. Then drive home to Lewiston. Very often, I would milk cows on the weekend and picked and sold raspberries. I lost 10 pounds that summer simply because I didn't have much time for munching. Thanks, Mom, for packing my lunch every morning all summer! I still love ham on wheat, grapes and a few carrot sticks-- just in case you ever need to pack my lunch again.